*

thoughts on 2007:

or, no really...

* 'This should all come as no surprise. The phrase, of course, you are familiar with. It was a ‘building year,’ this last year was. We suffered some losses, yes, we suffered some last season, and we had to start out all over.'

* for example: arthur mag, anp quarterly, oxycodone, daniel dens & barr

* the tangent universe collapsing into our own on a liquid utopia of destroyed dreams:



which kindly reminded us that 'nobody rocks a cock like Krysta Now'

* my love like the sunset, intensely brilliant and full, and then gone

* the canon powershot g9, the $8bn lost in gift cards, the sake bombed out remnants of last nights' parties, the deepthroated coughs, the great quitting (of cigs, of others?), the joy of nasal sprays

* some bands on tour: f*ed up / abe vigoda / wooden shjips / no age / little wand / pink reason / heide sez (comp) / lil wayne

* “Did any one of us have what he would call a winning season?" Eyes boring into a guy in the third row. “And what would that even look like? And could someone tell me, while we’re at it, when is high school over, when comes high school to its high schoolish end? When begins my true life as me on earth?” the audience begins to shuffle in their seats.

* j dilla's dilly-yo on the deal of the year (objectively observers: nytimes, time magazine, business week; subjective participants: wsj, barrons); joe nocera hearts the who? the week; garner does his usage tip of the day

* incumbent local exchange carriers, stock transfer agent interest, austalians everywhere except in the historic future of the penguins

* influence, zeroville, darconville's cat, mike davis, jensen's endgame, apc's sweaters, remember the day, bblessing's sweatshirts, march 17's pentagon march, momentous moves, feline flights

* the marching magic of the mgk mrkrs doing a bright lights big city tour

* myspace calendnars, google calendar, igoogle, google desktop, desktop remembers, remember the milk, milk birds, thunderbirds, thunderbird for gmail, facebook for the blackberry, facebook...

of course, the audience already knows this:
'3000+ hours are deadly...'

* and now i hear they're remaking funny games in english

* teenage teardrops keeps the hits coming ('you are free! remember that!'). family store fails to deliver (literally)...
but the werner herzog dvds and the writer's strike and the cancelled stoppard play makes my heart head and hands numb. gone numb, the hope of our family, deliveries of my failure, course through me, its conduit.

a beckett revival? i heard. worstward ho! no such luck. i heard. dvd's from marker, anger, watson, others. go west. i heard. still no minnie and moskowitz. young man, go west. i herd.

and i am unnameable.

yes, no, i don't know: perhaps it's a dream, all a dream. (that would surprise me.) i'll wake, in the silence, and never sleep again. (it will be i?) or dream (dream again), dream of a silence, a dream silence, full of murmurs (i don't know, that's all words), never wake (all words, there's nothing else).

you must go on, that's all I know.

they're going to stop, i know that well: i can feel it. they're going to abandon me (the audience). it will be the silence, for a moment (a good few moments). or it will be mine? the lasting one, that didn't last, that still lasts? it will be i?

you must go on.

i can't go on.

you must go on.

i'll go on. you must say words, as long as there are any - until they find me, until they say me. (strange pain, strange sin!) you must go on. perhaps it's done already. perhaps they have said me already. perhaps they have carried me to the threshold of my story, before the door that opens on my story. (that would surprise me, if it opens.)

it will be i? it will be the silence, where i am? i don't know, i'll never know: in the silence you don't know.

you must go on.

i can't go on.

i'll go on...